One of the most difficult parts of saying goodbye to a loved one is delivering his or her eulogy. If you are not a public speaker, this can be even more difficult. The challenge is balancing your memories with the time allotted for the eulogy. Here are some tips to help you create an eulogy that is memorable and respectful of the service.
Remember the Eulogy Is for the Living
Although you are there to eulogize your loved one, your words are meant to comfort the family. The eulogy is not a time to air out any grievances or to recite tales that are not appropriate for the general audience. For instance, a eulogy that includes favorite childhood memories or experiences shared with your loved one are usually appropriate.
Put the Eulogy in Writing
Some people feel that forgoing the process of writing the eulogy and speaking from the heart is the best policy, but, sometimes, this can lead to problems. It is difficult to predict how you will respond to the funeral service to your loved one. In an emotional state, you could forget what you wanted to say or find it difficult to stay on message. To avoid this complication, write out your eulogy in the days before the service. Writing it out not only helps you to remember everything you wanted to say, but it also gives you an opportunity to review your words beforehand and make adjustments as needed.
One of the biggest mistakes you could make is to give a stilted eulogy. Remember, you are speaking to the friends and family of your loved one and not delivering a financial report for a business. Keep your tone conversational and make eye contact throughout the eulogy.
Practice the Eulogy
Ask a couple of friends or family members to listen to you recite the eulogy. They can provide invaluable feedback on it. You can also time the eulogy. Remember, you do not want to provide a long and rambling eulogy. You have to be respectful of the impact a long service can have on family and friends. Be sure to take into consideration the feedback you receive and edit your eulogy if necessary. To ensure that you stay within the time allotted, contact the funeral home to determine how much time has been designated for the eulogy.
Giving an eulogy for someone you loved can be difficult. However, it is a chance for you to comfort the family and friends of your loved one.